Larry Stansbury, longtime D.C. activist, dies at 61

Co-founded Brother Help Thyself, supported Capital Pride and D.C. Center

By Rebecca Armendariz
in the Washington Blade, Nov. 6, 2009

Larry Stansbury, the first executive director of Brother Help Thyself and a Capital Pride Alliance founding board member, died Saturday in D.C. of complications stemming from a broken hip, according to Steve Blum, Stansbury’s roommate of 29 years. Stansbury was 61.

He first came to the District from Richmond, Va., in the 1970s after a four-year stint in the U.S. Navy ending in 1973. He worked at the D.C. Eagle, where he eventually became manager, and became involved in local LGBT activities largely through his memberships to the Centaur and Spartan gay motorcycle clubs, the latter of which he served in several roles, including president.

Stansbury had a kidney transplant in 1984, a development that allowed him to receive federal disability benefits and use his time to volunteer for LGBT nonprofits, Blum said.

Blum called Stansbury his “lifelong friend.” Stansbury’s partner of 12 years, James Kenner, died in 1990.

“He had a very limited family,” Blum said. “But he was my mother and my sister and my brother and everything else.”

In 1978, Stansbury helped create Brother Help Thyself, which provides funds for LGBT health, cultural and social services, said current executive director Tom Yates. After stepping down as the group’s director in 2006, Stansbury served on the organization’s board of directors as the Spartan representative.

Groups that have received donations from Brother Help Thyself include the Sexual Minority Youth Assistance League, the Whitman-Walker Clinic and the Mautner Project.

“He was the one who answered the phone, he got the mail, he was the point person,” Yates said. “When people needed to get a hold of Brother Help Thyself, they got a hold of Larry. He was the eyes and ears of the organization.”

Under Stansbury’s direction, Brother Help Thyself grew from an organization collecting $2,000 in grants to one bringing in more than $2 million, according to Rainbow History Project.

Stansbury also served on the Alexandria Task Force on AIDS, was vice president of the D.C. Center, and was involved with Capital Pride for more than 30 years.

Most recently, Stansbury served on the Capital Pride Alliance, which formed from a handful of Capital Pride organizers in 2008 and took over the task of planning the annual celebration from the Whitman-Walker Clinic.

“Larry was a fiery, passionate, dedicated individual who truly understood what it meant to be a servant leader,” said Capital Pride Board of Directors President Michael Lutz in a statement.

Lutz said that Stansbury sat on Pride’s planning committee, served on the board, and acted as an historian and head of security.

Blum said as Stansbury’s eyesight began to fail him this year from diabetes-related complications, he became less active in his charitable endeavors, but still served as the board’s treasurer.

Michael Sessa, the D.C. Center’s current volunteer president, said he worked with Stansbury and knew him through the leather community.

“He was executive director of [Brother Help Thyself] for 20 years, which I’m sure took skill and patience,” Sessa said. “He was definitely someone who liked volunteering in the community, and he could have given his time elsewhere. No one can deny his lasting commitment to the LGBT community.”

Paul Rose, a fellow Spartan Motorcycle Club member and a Brother Help Thyself founder, said he knew Stansbury for more than 25 years.

“When I stepped back after eight years, Larry filled in and developed [Brother Help Thyself] beyond whatever I had envisioned, and I was thrilled with that,” Rose said. “The organization will and has sorely missed him.”

Stansbury was elected as one of the Rainbow History Project’s Community Pioneers in 2007. The Community Pioneers program honors those who have shaped the District’s LGBT community.

“He was always busy,” said Mark Meinke, chair of the Rainbow History Project. “When you want to get something done, you don’t go to somebody who has time to do it. You go to somebody who has no time, but knows how to get it done. He was one of those kinds of people.”

In honor of Stansbury, Meinke published a memorial page on the Rainbow History Project’s web site.

A memorial service will be held Dec. 12 at 1 p.m. at Stansbury and Blum’s shared residence, Alexandria Knolls West Condominiums, 6101 Edsall Rd., Alexandria, Va. In lieu of flowers, Blum asked that donations be made to Brother Help Thyself.

Brother Help Thyself supporter dies

Larry Stansbury helped create group in 1978

By REBECCA ARMENDARIZ, Washington Blade
Nov 2 2009, 4:02 PM

Larry Stansbury, the first executive director of Brother Help Thyself and a founding board member of the Capital Pride Alliance, died Saturday from complications following a kidney transplant, according to Brother Help Thyself.


Stansbury first came to the District from Richmond, Va., in the 1970s and began working at the D.C. Eagle, where he eventually became manager. He became involved in local LGBT activities largely through his memberships to the Centaur and Spartan gay motorcycle clubs, the latter of which he served in several roles, including president.

Stansbury helped create in 1978 and eventually directed Brother Help Thyself, which provides funding for LGBT health, cultural and social services, according to current executive director Tom Yates. After stepping down in 2006, he served on the organization's board of directors as the Spartan representative.

"He was the one who answered the phone, he got the mail, he was the point person," Yates said. When people needed to get a hold of Brother Help Thyself, they got a hold of Larry."

Stansbury also served on the Alexandria Task Force on AIDS, was vice president of the DC Center, and was involved with Capital Pride for more than 30 years.

"Larry was a fiery, passionate, dedicated individual who truly understood what it meant to be a servant leader," said Capital Pride Board of Directors President Michael Lutz in a statement.

Stansbury was elected as one of the Rainbow History Project's Community Pioneers in 2007. The Community Pioneers program honors people who have shaped the District's LGBT community.

"He was always busy. When you want to get something done, you don't go to somebody who has time to do it. You go to somebody who has no time but knows how to get it done. He was one of those kinds of people," said Mark Meinke, chair of the Rainbow History Project.

"I can't imagine what it's going to be like without him because he's been such a part of our history," Meinke said.

Community Mourns Stansbury

Local gay activist and former head of BHT dies

By Will O'Bryan

Published on November 3, 2009 on www.metroweekly.com

Longtime gay activist Larry Stansbury, 61, died Saturday, Oct. 31, following a weeks-long struggle at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in the District.


"It was an ordeal," says Steve Blum, Stansbury's roommate and friend of many years, responsible for making medical decisions on Stansbury's behalf. "It started about eight weeks ago when he fell and broke his hip. They didn’t want to do surgery till he stabilized. Then he got an infection. Eventually his kidney and liver shut down."

Stansbury had a history of renal problems, Blum says, including two kidney transplants.

Blum says that on the advice of Stansbury's physicians he allowed them to cease "all aggressive treatment," save for those efforts that served to keep Stansbury comfortable, last Tuesday, Oct. 27.

"It seemed everything we were doing was making him uncomfortable," Blum says. "It was futile."

Stanbury's deep community roots include volunteering for decades with Capital Pride, as well as serving as a founding board member of the Capital Pride Alliance, which took responsibility for the annual event in 2009; heading Brother Help Thyself, a gay philanthropic group, for several years; and being a member of the Spartans MC of Baltimore, Md., and Washington, D.C.

Stansbury earlier wrote a directive that in the case of his death he would like those three organizations to be remembered in his name.

Blum says that, per Stansbury's wishes, his remains will cremated. Blum adds that a memorial celebration of Stansbury's life has been set for Saturday, Dec. 12, beginning at 1 p.m. in the lobby-level reception room of the Alexandria Knolls West condominiums, 6101 Edsall Road, Alexandria.

An extensive biography of Stansbury has been posted on the Rainbow History Project website, rainbowhistory.org. Stansbury is among RHP's list of "community pioneers" for his longtime devotion to and action within the local LGBT community.

To read our 2001 feature interview with Larry Stansbury, please click here.

Larry Stansbury, Community Pioneer

Larry Stansbury was named a Community Pioneer by the Rainbow History Project in 2007. This is from the Rainbow History Project's Web site:

Larry Stansbury has worn many different "hats" in DC’s gay community: health educator, manager of the Eagle, stalwart of the leather community and gay motorcycle club scene, Pride organizer and the energetic director of DC’s gay community foundation, Brother, Help Thyself (BHT). Working long days and nights for the community he has seemed indefatigable and is representative of the leather community’s tradition of community support. He has played a large part in helping fledgling community groups to organize and thrive.

Before settling here, Larry Stansbury was a frequent visitor because of his involvement in the Centaurs motorcycle club. He later became a member of the Spartans. In Richmond, his home, he had been a gay activist, a DJ, a bouncer and worked in club administration. He began working at the Eagle in DC in 1977 while still living in Richmond. He recalls that when the Eagle opened there wasn’t anything comparable in DC. Don Bruce wanted a home for the leathermen and bikers.

Six months after starting at the Eagle he was made comptroller. He later became manager of the club. He recalls that Bruce believed no one should be home alone at the holidays: the Eagle offered a Thanksgiving dinner and a Christmas Eve dinner to all comers each year.

From Brother, Help Thyself’s first days, Stansbury was involved with fundraising and organizing events. He has seen the foundation grow from a $2,000 a year organization to one making over $2 million in grants. He has worked for BHT for over a quarter century, retiring as Executive Director in 2006, beginning as the Spartan’s representative.

His day job in the health community gave him contacts and backgrounds that served him well during the worst of the AIDS epidemic. He served on the Alexandria (VA) Task Force on AIDS until early 1993.

Stansbury’s involvement with producing annual Pride celebrations began in the 70s and continued for 30 more years. He has organized security and events for Pride throughout its long history and has long been seen behind the scenes ensuring that all goes smoothly.

Resources on Larry Stansbury:
Oral history in the Rainbow History collection (contact Rainbow History)

In Memory of Larry Stansbury

It is with sadness that we inform you of the death of one of our long time supporters, Larry Stansbury. He died early Saturday, Oct. 31, after a nearly one-month stay in the ICU at the VA Hospital in Washington, DC, after a struggle with a broken hip, a blood infection and the shut down of his transplanted kidney.

Larry served as the first executive director of BHT and has served many years on the board of directors representing the Spartan MC. He was also a long-time part of CAB and worked as a volunteer and on the board of Capital Pride.

Further information concerning services will be posted as it is made known.

Religious Events during the National Equality March

A list from the Task Force Institute of Welcoming Resources

TOWN HALL MEETING ON THE GLBT COMMUNITY AND FAITH, Friday, Oct. 9, 7 p.m.
Join religious leaders and faith groups from all traditions for a very open and frank discussion on the role of faith in the GLBT Community. Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, D.C., 474 Ridge Street N.W., Washington, D.C. 20001(202)638-7373

SEXUAL MINORITY YOUTH ASSISTANCE LEAGUE (SMYAL) LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE "STAND UP! GET LOUD!" Saturday, Oct 10, 11 a.m.–5 p.m.
Help youth from DC and beyond learn how to be leaders in their communities and advocate for equal rights and treatment. Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, D.C., 474 Ridge Street N.W., Washington, D.C. 20001

ECUMENICAL PRAYER SERVICE, Saturday, Oct. 10, 11 a.m.
Organized by DignityUSA. Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle, 1725 Rhode Island Ave. NW, Washington, D.C.

WREATH LAYING AT ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY, Saturday, Oct. 10, noon.
Join MCC founder Rev. Elder Troy Perry at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier to commemorate the service of all past and present LGBT veterans. Tomb of the Unknown Soldier – Arlington National Cemetery, Arlington, Va.

WORKSHOP ON FAITH COMMUNITIES & LGBT JUSTICE CAMPAIGNS, Saturday, Oct. 10, 2 p.m.
Join MCC, the Unitarian Universalist Association,and Foundry United Methodist Church for this workshop and panel discussion on how communities of faith can become effective advocates for LGBT civil rights. Featuring MCC Moderator, Rev. Elder Nancy Wilson and Rev. Pat Bumgardner, pastor of MCC-NY. Foundry United Methodist Church, 1500 16th St NW, Washington, D.C. 20036-1402

WORKSHOP ON RELIGION AND SEXUALITY, Saturday, Oct. 10, 3–4:30 p.m.
Join leader Annette Marquis of the Unitarian Universalist Association and panelists to discuss the important relationship between religion and sexuality and how to open a dialogue. This workshop will run: Embassy Suites, D.C. Convention Center, Atrium of Finn and Porter Restaurant, 900 10th St NW, Washington, D.C.

EQUALITY TO END AIDS, HIV/AIDS RALLY AND VIGIL, Saturday, Oct. 10, 5:30–8:30 p.m.
Featuring an inspiring roster of speakers and performers (mostly HIV+), culminating in a candlelight vigil. MCC Moderator Rev. Elder Nancy Wilson will lead the closing prayer for the candlelight vigil. The Ellipse, adjacent to the White House.

QUEER SIMCHAT TORAH CELEBRATION, Saturday, Oct. 10, 6:30–9:30 p.m.
Through celebration, food and dancing, Simchat Torah marks both the end and beginning of the annual Torah reading cycle. Come celebrate Simchat Torah with other LGBT Jews and allies in Washington, D.C. Everyone is welcome. Tickets are FREE, but an RSVP is required. Please visit the website below or call to reserve tickets. Jewish Community Center, 1529 16th St. NW, Washington, D.C. washingtondcjcc.org/gloe

OFFICIAL INTERFAITH SERVICE, Sunday, Oct. 11, 8 a.m.
Come join this early morning celebration of equality and faith. This service features host pastor Rev. Graylin S. Hagler, preacher Rev. Dr. Irene Monroe, with special music by legendary R&B singer Tony Terry. Plymouth Congregational United Church of Christ, 5301 North Capitol St. NE, Washington, D.C. (Directions via public transportation: 4 blocks from Metro station–get off at Fort Totten).

SUNDAY WORSHIP SERVICE, Sunday, Oct. 11, 9 a.m.
Preacher: MCC Moderator Rev. Elder Nancy Wilson with a prayer service for MCC founder Rev. Elder Troy Perry. Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, D.C., 474 Ridge St. N.W., Washington, D.C.

SUNDAY WORSHIP SERVICE, Sunday, Oct. 11, 11 a.m.
Preacher: MCC Moderator Rev. Elder Nancy Wilson. Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, D.C., 474 Ridge St. N.W., Washington, D.C.

NATIONAL EQUALITY MARCH, Sunday, Oct. 11, 12 noon.
Join with pro-LGBT people of faith from around the country as we march through the streets of Washington down to the rally point on the West Front of the U.S. Capitol, 15th & I (“eye”) Street.

NATIONAL EQUALITY MARCH RALLY AT THE CAPITOL, Sunday, Oct. 11, 2 p.m.
The Rally will start off with a “calling of the names” from MCC Founder Rev. Elder Troy Perry. All clergy and religious leaders are invited to join Rev. Perry onstage. Come and hear speakers address the crowd on a host of topics, all focusing on the March's goal of simple equality for LGBT people in all 50 states. West Front of the U.S. Capitol (side facing the Mall).

National Equality March on Washington THIS Sunday at Noon!‏

Leather Contingent

Join US

We're meeting at the Starbucks (1455 K Street, NW) on the northeast corner of 15th & K Streets, NW at 11:30 a.m. Look for a group of Leather Pride & Bear Pride flags. It is one block from the McPherson Metro Stop (Blue & Orange lines) which is located at 15th & I ("Eye") Streets NW.